July 5, 2009

When in Joka, talk like …

This is a straight rip-off from the IIMC website (http://www.jokatimes.com).


This is a short guide meant for fuchchas entering IIMC. This will help you acclimatize better to your surroundings – and will ensure you have no excuse for your linguistic shortcomings.

The Basic Ones

1. Globe (n, adj)

Used to denote the non-specificity of a certain comment. Globe typically includes statements which are true in all conditions, or statements which are vague and impertinent to the question at hand.

Usage: When the prof. asks, “What are the implications of this particular policy” an answer like “While this policy could herald a new dawn into the country’s future while there exists the possibility of it failing. A careful study needs to be undertaken to assess the pros and cons and then apt and timely decisions need to be taken for this policy to be successful”. This term can also be used as an adjective – “Yaar, Bahut Globe paper tha”


2. Bakar (n)

This is used to denote arbitrary talk mostly among friends that consumes most of the time of the residents of Joka. Bakar typically happens for the whole night particularly among jobless members of various hostels.

Usage: “Yaar, kal raat bakar karke baithe hue the”


3. Geela (adj)

Given the skewed sex ratio at IIM, this adjective is a form of putting a social price on trying to woo a member of the fairer sex. Depending on who is using it, this term would be applied to an individual who is mostly found talking to members of the aforementioned gender.

Usage: “Woh banda to confirmed geela hai” or “Aisi geeli harkatein karna chod de”


4. Aandozz/Machandozzz (interj.)

Aandozz literally means “bring it on”.  Used to signal the coming of a new challenge. Machandozz is used by other people who are wishing good luck to the people saying Aaandozzz. Machandozz is also used after someone has performed commendably as encouragement. Again the number of “zzz” will indicate degree.


“XL meet aandozzz”
“Guys, go kick their ass. Machandozzzz!”


5. Putlake(v)

Used to indicate disagreement with someone or something. Typically the guilty party is asked to be “putlaked”. Also used as a celebratory gesture to celebrate birthdays and pre-placement offers.

Usage: “Putlake Arjun Singh. He’s spoiled our entire system” or “Putlake admin”


6. Putcrack / Putfight(v)

Used as encouragement before an important event.
Usage: “Best of luck for the case. Putcrack!”


7. Fatleez(adj.)

Used to indicate a dire situation.
Usage: “yaar, merit toh class mein fatleez ho gayi hai. Kuch bhi samajh nahi aa raha”


8. Lessss(adj.)

Used to indicate how lame a particular situation/comment is. The more the number of “ssss” the more stupid it is.
Usage: “Yaar less jokes mat mar”


The Academic Ones

1. DP/CP (abbr.)

Stands for “desperate participation” and “class participation”. While classroom participation means commenting in a way which takes the discussion forward and more importantly gets you a better grade, desperate participation typically comes from a middle-to-backbencher who feels his grade is slipping away and needs to absolutely establish his presence.
Usage: “Yaar itna DP mat maar.”


2. Freerider (n)

Member of a group who shoulder little to no responsibility. Such members are soon ratted out and frowned upon by the more hard-working members of the group. The best freeriders are those who escape from being labelled as one.
Usage: “We don’t want any freeriders in our group”.

The Message Board Ones

1. CAMs (abbr.)

Stands for “Can’t Agree More”. It is used to indicate agreement with a previous statement. The more the number of trailing “sss…” the more is the agreement.

A: “I think Sachin should’ve played the T20 world cup”
B: “CAMssssss”


2. htia(abbr.)

Stands for “hajaar thanks in advance”. To be used on the bulletin board while asking for answers to a particular question that is bugging you, or a particular software that you need.
Usage: “Does anyone know how to mail-merge in office? ~htia”


3. nsoi (v)
Stands for “enjoy”.


4. chocs and mishtis assured
Used while asking for a favour, typically as a reward for lost things on the bulletin board. This is typically an area for your creative energies and you can promise other things too.
“Guys I’ve lost my calculator. Anyone who can find it please call me!
~chocs and mishits assured”

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